I feel like this is a great test of my will and yesterday it shook with great force.
I stare at the cracks in my walls as a test of my patience. I hear the palm reader say, "You have so much will." And I draw into it, close my eyes, and pull it all into me as though visioning it is all in the mount of Venus, my wishing star, and feel it pulse into my heart. "You have an ability like few people, to be able to love and let go for the happiness of the other people around you."
Breath in.... like air filling deep into my lungs, turning solid, penetrating my heart as though it were a shard of sharp ice... take the pain in (which is memory)... and watch my fingers, red lacquered nails, release the hold.
I can only focus on so much... most things only grace the surface, effecting only the surface. I suppose I was not ready for something so close to pierce. I am thankful for the heart I do have, that although in ways painful, is strong enough to love more than for myself.